insane obscurity

not tonight

So I've just had a very early day at work and have to do it again tomorrow, yet here I am about to fall asleep. But I feel the subject of the book I am currently enjoying should be discussed.

I've always read in during breaks at work, wherever I've worked because I find it's the best way to escape from your work mental state and relax. Sometimes I entirely forget I'm at work which has its pros and cons. Recently I started Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy and reading Hardy again is massively improving my mind and giving me more to think about overall. Just the name Hardy is intensely satisfying. There's nothing like having a favourite author. Hardy har har!

However, nearly all Hardy novels are tragedies. They're brilliantly detailed, the characters are so beautifully soulful and I personally can never guess the ending. It may have something to do with being from a entirely different time period as they're based in the Victorian era; therefore what may be a normal ending for me may be polar opposites in those times. For example, ending alone after being widowed would actually be marrying again for a status and less fallen angel lifestyle. Both tragic but worlds apart. I'd like to hope everyone would someday read something by Hardy but I will spoil what I have read so far anyway. Actually the back of the gorgeous black jacket Penguin Classic style gives away the majority of what I have read, bar one dead pig. Literally. 

A boy named Jude Fawley dreams and aspires to educate himself and move to a place not far from him called Christminster. A teacher he once knew moved their himself to further himself in society and he took inspiration and pretty much made him his idol. When the boy is nineteen he has his first encounter with a lady named Arabella, beautiful name but just wait. After their first encounter they decide to meet again and what Jude had hoped would only be a stroll turned into a 3 mile hike towards a fire (possible representation of his ultimate demise by Arabella). When they're walking home from the now in ashes fire, Jude receives his first kiss and they walk arms round waist together. Already considering this is Victorian, out of the five books I've read of Hardy this is some of the most descriptive physical contact he's ever given about a non-married couple. Amazing! When Jude drops Arabella home she complains "it will look silly if you just drop me home, come inside". Well inside her whole friggin family and some members of the community that see them walking in together; hinting at their courtship. There was even a point where her father says "courting" and Jude thinks that its a bit too early for that shit but just goes with it. Courtship in Victorian terms could mean an ultimate turn to marriage, which considering he wants to do more in life isn't on his list straight away. 

Immediately Arabella exclaims to her friends "I want him, I want him to have me" blah blah blah. Still A LOT for a Victorian writer Hardy! One of her more promiscuous friends I suppose basically suggests she do more than kiss him and entangle him into marrying her if he is a true man and marries someone instead of ditches them at those early signs. They do because she's a bit of a harlot, he is fooled and they're married. I may take this time to point out, you're told as a reader about the marriage in one sentence. Simple and sweet Hardy. 

But a couple of months in, he's spent pretty much anything he has earnt because he bought a n inn which he thought Arabella could run a little but she can't do shit. They buy and feed a what they can a pig to slaughter and sell but that is a horrific scene I never want to read again. I read it whilst at work and was asked whats wrong. Truly, Arabella tries to make him bleed out a pig and he has sympathy and doesn't do it the inhumane way. She's an absolute bitch. She explains to him that she is not knocked up, he's obviously shocked and she decided to randomly go back to her parents and move to Australia of all places.

As a side note, I believe their marriage will come back to haunt Jude. It nearly always does. As you see, its Victorian times and they don't actually divorce, they just pretend like the horrific marriage isn't real. 

----This is were I decided to sleep instead and read more today...----

He meets his cousin Sue Bridehead after a while and she declares that she's moving away. How great is this though, the reason she's having to move is because she bought some naked statues to hide in her room, demonstrating her "new woman" attitude. But her religious house keeper found out that they weren't saints, she destroys them. Jude clearly doesn't want her to leave, at this point Hardy even writes of how he is excessively attracted to her physically. SO he hunts down his old teacher/friend who is headmaster at the local school and asks if she could get a teaching position. As it turns out Sue has had experience in teaching. Coincidence? I think not. Today I read that the headmaster fellow is twenty years her senior and yet they seem to be getting close. Life is pretty shit for Jude...  

I will post this and read on because it is a great book and its only the first volume. There have been so many moments where I've stopped reading simply to reflect on the horrid circumstances Hardy drags his characters. He's St. Devil. My love for Hardy continues. The second cliffhanger from the last post will never be revealed. Ha! 

Good night x

please and thank you

I wish I knew how

One more day at work and my five days will be up! It's weird to think that I did more hours not only in the course of the week but during the day and yet can't handle it anymore. I am in Keep Calm & Carry On mode but 8 & 1/2 is now my limit, it used to be 11. Difficult differences when working in retail. The main reason for todays spontaneous post is because my best friend posted a video on YouTube that made me talk to myself a little more than usual because I related to it. Well done friend. So instead on keeping my reaction to myself or pretending that I will eventually do a video in reply, my method is replying via blog. So here goes, enjoy:

Costco Assistant Duties/My experiences with such duties

An assistant is required to pack for members when possible

Me: Good afternoon *makes quick eye contact and starts packing*

Member: Put that down there!

Me: *Stops packing and again makes eye contact* Please (delivered in deliberate tone)

Member: (Processing that staff can stand up for themselves) ...Please put that under there

Me: *Finishes packing*

Member: Thank you! Have a nice day! Thank you so much!

On another occasion:

One woman and two men are coming through the till

Me: *Starts packing*

Woman member: We're the women, we know how to pack and men don't. We're made for this kind of thing

Me: I don't agree with that *walks over and helps next member in line*

An assistant may be required to get a product from other areas of the store that the member forgot to get/did not realise was on offer

Costco is a large warehouse with various departments. The furthest from the tills is the bakery and produces bagels and muffins that are constantly on an offer of buy one get one free. So members do not realise and we have to power walk to get the desired product. This would be fine if it weren't for other members being in our way. Of course we don't mind dodging through their slow walks and dumped large trollies, they're leisurely taking their time shopping. Thats fine. But please do not stop someone who is in a rush so as to avoid a bitchy person who could complain "that took you a while" to ask some questions that if you really thought about it, you'd know what is best to do.

"When are you getting more in?" + "You can check at the till with a supervisor" 

= "Well thats not helpful"

"You used to do this product but I can't find it" + "We keep only a limit stock of certain products, but you can check at the till with a supervisor"

= "I haven't got time for that"

We haven't got time for your questions if our answers will never be enough. 

Just to make it clear: WE DO NOT HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF EVERYTHING IN STORE! 

Its a big fucking warehouse of items that change position/quantity/price all the time. Its like living with dementia 

(please no one take offence).

An assistant may be required to help in other departments 

Do NOT send a vegetarian to serve meat.

These are only the main things that happen every day that could potentially lead to me getting removed because I simply won't stand for it. Ever. I understand members intentions occasionally, such as the welcoming "Excuse me, do you work here" because we don't wear uniforms, only giant name badges which admittedly some of us take off when around the store to avoid the above annoying idiots. This is a REALLY different kind of post for me on here however the video needed my response because it happens to anyone dealing with customers. Whats even worse is the only way to not be one of those people is to physically work against them, experiencing retail and not being one of those customers. 

However I have recently found two things to drift my mind into that instantly lightens my mood at work (I'll leave a cliffhanger on those for the next post) 

On that note, good night x

obscurity along with some resolve

this is also a fantastic video to watch

Last Thursday my head was boiling with a  headache yet my body was freezing. Along with my sensitive state I found my throat hurt more than usual. I pushed through an 8 1/2 hour shift and had to sort it out before the Friday. Turns out I had the flu and another round of tonsillitis which nearly kicked my ass to the curb. Resulting in medication every four hours with a silver lining of no work until it got better. It's been a week since I went to work, tomorrow will be the return to the holiday madness, it's been semi-decent time away. There is nothing like rest. 

With all that time off (when you're not sleeping) there is very little to do that could take next to zero energy. READING. I managed to finish The Yard during those days which although in a size 12 font did take a while to overcome. The story was not boring, in fact it was sometimes thrilling and the ending was three scenes simultaneously solving crime. The difference between this and I guess a classic thriller novel is that you are firstly put into the perspective of  the murderer. Grecian actually signifies this through starting chapters in an italic font throughout the novel to clarify. It isn't necessarily written in first person but is seen through their eyes and gives opinions that could only come from a psycho. Possibly half way through you're given the name of the murderer as well. Secondly Grecian has provided readers with an insight of how the techniques on finding a killer have developed. Such as finger prints and corpse analysis. Clearly someone did their research. The ending is only good purely for those few fast paced scenes and a general opening for a sequel. Although their is the Epilogue which almost ruins my opinion of the novel in general because it is too "oh and lets through this in because we can!"

This did mean replacing the space in my bag reserved for books. I own a Waterstones points card because it can be helpful when you persevere with spending time in there instead of ordering over the internet. We all have that debate. Book shops can seem so premium though and I personally want to physically touch the book and read small sections before falling for it. Stop me when this gets inappropriate... Maybe a month ago I managed to spend only five pounds on two Penguin classic Thomas Hardy novels. All because I'd saved and saved for when I'd finished all my current Hardy novels and had them specially reserved. So as to not feel reader guilty for reading the same authour over and over again. I also had to ask if they had one in stock and place it away for me because there are the generic novels from each authour and then the less popularly sold. 

So after that I had pre decided that I would like to read Jude the Obscure over the holidays. I've only read one chapter as I've been spending time with two friends whom both live in Wales and are pretty much a couple of the best things on Earth. But all is still the same with Hardy, although this one will be based around a male character which may shift things a little. 

THE FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD TRAILER! Oh, how did I not start with that? (Yes two links in one post - evolution) Although I had to google and read over the plot again, even though I've read the book when you have read five incredible Hardy novels they mesh together and I'd lost the plot a little. Get it? Because theres a plot but its a saying for lost it? Ok... It looks very good, considering the last Hardy live action adaptation was possible Tess of the D'Urbervilles with Gemma Arteton. Very well done indeed. This include Carey Mulligan and Michael Sheen. Exciting stuff! Even with the new Star Wars trailer & Jurassic Park trailer I'm more excited to see some familiar characters other than Luke Skywalker of course. 

On that note I will stop writing, hadn't posted in a while and claimed this name for Tumblr and thought it best to keep up with it still. Good evening... No its afternoon but it is turning into evening because its freaking winter and the sun has apparently given up for today. 

Holy shit x