a lot of nothing

say what!?

I was working from Wednesday till Monday for a maximum of six 1/2 hours each day. It's part time but as exhausting as a full time job because it's excessively physical. But now that it's over I had yesterday and today off to do whatever. 

As Christmas is lurking I bought my Secret Santa present ready to personalise and wrap. I'm so happy with it, I've gone over the limit of how much to spend but I do want a little something else. They will have something funny and something they can use daily. Plus we have to make a handmade thing which I haven't put a thought to yet till now. Among that little Christmas shop I bought some more products from Tanya Burr cosmetics and the first of many Zoella beauty products. Can't wait to try out the Fizz bars. But I also indulged and bought a jumper for myself that was greatly only five pounds. I recently bought a skirt, dress, a slinky top and some nice new brogues that all can't be worn at work but are lovely; so I thought the jumper is more appropriate and aesthetically pleasing. On a side note, I wore a t shirt that my brother got for free a few weeks ago (he got one for himself and for me because they're small and nice) which I usually wear to bed, but I wore out shopping without a bra. Genuinely the comfiest thing to do. It's black so it wasn't noticeable. 

In the evening yesterday, my friend and I went to dinner at Wild Wood which was amazing. The atmosphere, decorations let alone the food and drink were great. The service to, it's the best when the people in there are nice and friendly. My friend drove in their gorgeous Fiat 500 so I again indulged and ordered a Sea Breeze to drink along with water. It contained vodka, cranberry and lime juice I believe which couldn't have been sweetly satisfactory. Another selling point for me in a restaurant such as Wild Wood is their cocktail list... Obviously. But I was recommended by our helpful waiter the cherry bell pepper & spring vegetable risotto which was perfect. My friend and I may have ordered a three course filling meal but it was worth stuffing your insides for.  

Speaking of food, I was just a little saddened today as mama bought some rock road bars from the bakery and I took a bite without even thinking of the marshmallows on top. Bad vegetarian! On the plus side I managed to avoid doing testers at work, they had pulled pork sandwiches for members to try, I just stated that I'm a vegetarian and they felt really bad about even asking. It's nice that they understand that it wouldn't make sense and would completely go against my morals.

Since Monday I've been listening to 1989 any chance I get, there's no music at the top because really I would like to hope anyone would listen to any of the songs on the album. 

My left arm is now being used as a pillow for Gatsby...

For now, I struggle slowly to write: good afternoon x

boys & boys & girls & girls

Welcome!

Evenin'. I've been listening to Taylor Swift's two songs that the UK is allowed to listen to before/after work so that's why you're welcomed. There is a lyric in the song that is "you can want who you want" and thought it was beautiful. Not sure if the boys & girls part is supposed to open up a particular conversation but that just may be my individual take. Also, it's funny how Swift can create a completely new sound and yet we still recognise it and adorn are ears to the music.

Having work early this morning meant finishing early, although I didn't come straight here. A notepad was thrust upon me to write down a wish list (how coincidental) for Christmas. Apparently this weekend is one of the busiest for Christmas shopping as it's the second to last pay day till the 25th and everyone has settled on a Halloween costume. This I'm afraid is enough of the Christmas talk.

Prior to resting with some green tea and writing these words I went... Shopping. Kind of. It was 16:40 and most places are filled with emptiness as everything closes at 17:30. I bought the "essentials" that I talked of maybe yesterday or the day before because it was pay day. On a more focused topic the aesthetics chosen were leaning towards the 70s. Which as I've been informed is in fashion; once upon a time I paid attention. Scanning the internet over some 70s inspiration, most things seem like a haze of orange. Autumn invites those warm colours and moods so it all fits perfectly in my mind to have that 70s feel to clothing. Although I cannot go to New York currently to present the 70s thing going on at the moment, London is my preferred.

It's just a little update and I repeat with an adjective, good evenin' x (p.s. I thought I published this hours ago)

London Love

The Yard, not Scotland

you'll see why in a moment

Another earlier post because it's another late night. It also turns out I'm working six days in a row, although it's not all day like a full time job I focus on how much rest I will need for the upcoming working days. So really even with some free time hours, I can do very little. But that is impossible to avoid currently! Working that is. So focusing on the positive: I am reading a modern book for the second time in a row. Progress is sweet. It's not a problem to read classic books only, but they take a little longer to get through because their content is crazy fulfilling. But it is always good to vary the mind set. So with green tea/water at my side, I continue:

The Yard by Alex Grecian. Admittedly this is another Penguin however I spotted it two years ago whilst working and literally judged it by the cover. I was very obsessed with the Victorian era at one time and still fascinates me but I no longer need to cover it as I'm out of college. The back also starts "One year on from Jack the Ripper" which I know very little of but even so could grapple anyones mind. I'd really like to know more about the Ripper but there is always time for non-fiction. I've never really read a crime fiction that was aimed for adult readers, previously I'd read some American Girl mysteries but I was twelve. So far this is a gentle read, I guess slowly building up. Grecian is actually an American writer and has so far given examples to Victorian life in advance. From first year at college I knew a lot of details regarding the era and all of them have re-appeared in the first 12 or so chapters. This either means that the writer is presenting as much gritty detail of the time, in facts, to provoke the reality or, has discovered all these things and just has an excuse to expel them to the reader. It does sound slightly obnoxious to say I already knew this, but it is good to read about the cruel children mining in a perspective of a character. A few details as to the murderer are given but I'm sure Grecian hasn't revealed the character just yet. Although there are a few paragraphs and even a chapter dedicated to the murderers perspective, written in first person and pointed out by the account and the fact it's in italics (a technique a modern writer can get away with). But still no real evidence, I'll keep this updated if anything truly exciting happens or perhaps I might finish it.

   

I've just finished You're the One that I Want by Giovanna Fletcher. A few months ago I finished Billy & Me by the same author in one day, just pointing out how easy reading is found in modern writing. So I thought why not read the next one? Another! (I haven't smashed a glass, don't worry) The book was written in two perspectives of the main characters Maddy and Ben. I wasn't too pleased with the book in overall simply because the story follows them going through school and university and just generally I didn't like the story as much as Billy & Me, but it's still an easy and lovely read. There is a sequel to Billy & Me coming out which I'll go ahead and read when it's out.

I've spent way too long writing this post as distractions keep occurring. More water is needed and even more productivity before work is needed. 

Day 2/6 begins at 15:30 today 

*inserts game face*

I'm watching Mary Poppins is why and by gosh when "Mary 'olds yur 'and ya feel so grand!"

Enjoy the grand afternoon x

Cary Grant & I

trees seem to be the thing

This is a little earlier than usual because I have work till 21:30 this evening. Ew. But green tea at the ready for energy! I tried a cranberry and raspberry one this morning and wow it was tart and delicious. But also water because of course you need that, an essential. So Cary Grant? What in the world do I mean? Well, I just did one of those silly quizzes that cropped up on Facebook titled: "Who was your past lover" or something along those lines and I after honestly answering six or so questions received the answer. Cary Grant. Not bad that. 

"Wasn't he gay?" Apparently not, or so I can scan the internet to dissolve. But who knows anyway, or cares. Tis a silly quiz but it was someone I knew from film and loved and thought (like many) what a silver fox. Charade is one of my all time favourite films, it's difficult to decipher which films involving Audrey Hepburn are the preferred in my personal perspective but this one was interesting. There is a nice filmography that I've been streaming through. Just burnt my mouth with green tea; fantastic. To Catch a Thief is also a great Grant film which also include Grace Kelly this is on Netflix as well. See, with dashing men there are leading ladies that catch the same attention for me.

More interestingly was one of the questions. What era do you prefer? 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s or 70s. I actually chose the 20s because that new age was the first I thought would be dazzling to experience love and life in. With a slight chance of my answer being F. Scott Fitzgerald, but I suppose he had Zelda. Just on a side note, Cary Grant was married five times. So, although I was able to pick an era without much hesitation at all, how is it not tempting to pick all six? I suppose starting in the 20s you would hopefully live throughout all of them. But I did have a spark of thought beginning with the eras and what horrors they bring. Although there was the prohibition in the 20s, there were apparently ways around that and that all seems fun. The horror is in the racism and sexism which I figure all these era inhabited. They all have their pros and all had their cons, but I am happy to live in todays society. Which although has its faults we seem to be working through them just as equally as we did then so, this whole "Who was your past lover" actually makes you point out the future perspective. Let's just say it was a lot more thought provoking then originally intended when I answered the questions. 

On that note, I still need to let my tea cool down. Only an hour till work and this is 1/5 working days. Not so part time, but still I say good afternoon x

exponential wish lister

as this is new and nice

Of course this will be a better post than yesterday. Not in a "I'm making progress in writing day to day" but it has the promise of not being as long. I may or may not have a blanket wrapped around me right now because it's so freaking cold! Not enough hot drinks could subdue this windy day, although stocking up on tea today was a good idea. I do love me some green tea. 

Prior to writing the following I was window shopping virtually. I hope a lot of people do this, but you kind of glaze through your wardrobe and see not only nice things, possibly a good variety, you also find gaps. Not in the clothes (moths aren't my worry) but the different items that you'd like to add. One being a blanket that passes as a scarf, inspired by Burberry, because this current situation is ridiculously cosy. I won't monogram it even though that would be awesome. A nice stamp of "this is mine, look my initials!" Who doesn't love that? 

I also mentioned previously being a Leo, I found some pumps in Topshop that have a nice lion on them. Flat shoes are an essential right? I seem to have used my nicer ones at work once and they got horrid pretty quickly unfortunately. As well as some fake kind of brogues I've had for a time. I call them my orphan London boy shoes because they genuinely look like Oliver could wear them. Too non-fancy for Dodger in my opinion/imagination. So those would kind of help keep my feet warm as the invention of socks would work well together with brogues. How very British. 

I don't usually talk this much about clothes etc but this is just current. But more on topic, I have come to the ongoing consideration of being a wish lister. It's very rare to fulfil anything from the list unless greatly small. But there are levels of wishes that I'd like to address, they are as follows: 

Imagining a life in London

Creating an almost realistic perspective of one/some tattoos

How to progress into the industry I lust after

Future and ambitious career moves

Physical appearance aesthetics

Boooooooooooks

May have just got a little distracted with food and YouTube just then, but I still return to post. Not to "my post" this isn't a war... Yet. So basically, I seem to be a bit of a dreamer. But luckily it doesn't extend to just dreams, there are a lot of situations where these are a reality. I am ambitious and patient which is a reasonably wicked combination. Suddenly the above list fuels my imagination further into creating more of a reality because obviously, it being my exponential wish list, they all sound magic. Some things from my list will one day be ticked off and replaced with equally adventurous lines. 

Till the 'morrow! Good night x 

Two years later...

I'd like to think this inspires me, it might you

As of late I have thought and almost determined to blog again. Even though in the last two years I haven't, even purchasing my beautiful Mac with the capability of writing and with enough time to do so; it is only now I write. For many reasons I'm sure of but for now it is to exercise my thoughts currently. I have had four blogs and none have made it past a couple of months I guess, I had forgotten about this one and this as it turns out is probably my favourite. What I haven't forgotten is my "themes of the week". They crop up, these thoughts once a day most likely, that inspire my mind to reel off my per-spec-tive (what a coincidence) on the subject. It varies in genre but defiantly streams. So with that and the re-discovering of this little thing, I write. 

Theme of the Week: Omniscient haters

I semi-recently had a discussion with a friend of mine. Although one could persuade it to be classed as an argument, I would defy that statement because I would never want to start an argument that was not needed. Make sense..? In a nutshell (I love that phrase) my friend was being very distant in many aspects that it caused me to notice. On a side note, I am not the only one in our group of friends that would agree with me but it is only fair and right to use "I think" and "I feel" etc.; I can only speak for me. Its easier to start at why I felt they were distant. A while ago (no specific time frame because I can't remember those details) my friend fell into a relationship with someone new. We are a little older than college students so it wasn't someone we all knew, therefore I would have the pleasure of getting to know someone new who is now part of my friends life. Not only did I meet them, I also got introduced to their housemate who has very similar interest to mine. It was a slight set-up on my friends behalf because we (on paper) matched well. My friend, their boyfriend and I had only hung out a few times, one occasion of which they met two other friends in the group which is great. Although alcohol was involved so its difficult to distinguish their knowledge of that meeting. A little while down the line, things between me and the boyfriends housemate did not match as well as hoped, we are friends if not arguably just distant friends now. 

Possibly two occasions where I had been in the same room with my friend and his boyfriend, things seemed a little off. Just a general lack of conversation/acknowledgement. I didn't mind too much at this point. For a few months I hadn't seen my friend, heard from them unless in a comment on social media, but particularly hadn't felt as though I knew them any more or that they knew me. To the point where my once close friend asked me something personal and I had the immediate response of "that's none of your business". It wasn't a welcome comment from my mind. But to make things worse, I said something along the lines of "it doesn't matter" (classic change of subject now please reply) and they went on to ask a closer friend of mine to find out. Not a happy bunny that particular occasion. 

This is a pretty long story but it has a point I promise! Again a little further in time, a party in fact. My friend, his boyfriend and funnily enough the housemate had been invited along with others in the group for a birthday celebration. I won't go into detail because it doesn't need any more than this: the boyfriend was being very silent around me. This is possibly the best way to put it right now. They just didn't say hello or anything towards me. Not even turn their back or look in my direction. This was something I was worried about prior to going to the party, but luckily there were others to talk to and we had a great night anyway. 

I consulted a close friend of mine of this whole account and they gave me perfect advice that I will pass on: Ask them plainly the question you wish the answer to. Plainly being the operative word, not because my friend would be slow but because I wanted to be clear. As said in the beginning I didn't want an argument just some further knowledge on the subject. I asked and they became fairly defensive on all the things I was saying I have felt for the past couple of months. The main thing to focus on here is that I asked why their boyfriend was being cold towards me. They told me simply that they thought I had been disrespectful of their housemate and didn't feel the need to treat me any differently. So, they on all accounts didn't like me and wanted nothing to do with me despite being their boyfriends friend. (I'm trying not to use names or even get fake names so sorry if this is confusing). To add to that, my friend said something along the lines of "I would like them to be nicer to you". It made me feel like they were just going to let it happen. Let their boyfriend treat me with disrespect to avoid an argument I would assume. 

I know many could say Shake it Off, but from when I don't see or hear from my once close friend to even when I'm having a bad day, that boyfriend plays on my mind making me feel they have been right. They enter my mind and I feel angry. I don't want to say hate and won't because they don't need a strong word. I won't see them probably or hopefully not again, even though they're my friends boyfriend because it wouldn't be nice for me to step out of who I am truly and become a hateful creature. I believe in astrological signs, I'm a Leo and I like fitting into that because the common attributes for me are true. I'm telling you this because one of them is sometimes that Leo's are arrogant. The boyfriend is also a Leo and is the worst kind I've ever met because of this attribute. It will forever be the strongest hateful word I will say against them, that they are arrogant and not in a good way (if there is one I guess). My omniscient hater won't need to play on my mind much longer, I think on this subject less every week which is progress. Writing this down has helped especially to keep the subject clear so that it becomes easier to understand. 

Look I didn't want to re-start my blog posts again on such a negative story but it was the first thing that came to mind on themes of the week, and this may help the subject to exit my mind even faster (selfish deed DONE). I can only apologise for this long winded post, but from two years of silence I hope it doesn't matter. Looking in the bigger picture I want to write less but often, especially as there are very little places to beam at Thomas Hardy. I've read five of his novels and more is to come on that subject. This was not a vent merely my theme. 

So until next time (most likely tomorrow) good night x